Sunday, February 14, 2016

First 2016 Transactions Announced

Today the Chairman released the clubs first personnel moves since its disastrous 2015 season. Out is Jermaine Jones, the US National team stalwart who disappointed in 2015 with zero goals, zero assists, and a six game suspension to start the 2016 season. The club faithful, who remember the Chairman's decision to sign Jones to a DP contract while releasing Bradley Wright-Phillips, rightfully blame the Chairman for the terrible decision making that led to an all-time worst regular season record along with a potentially fatal last place draft pick.

Returning are veterans Graham Zusi, the first player signed by the club upon its formation, and a regular on the scoresheet until a 2015 season plagued by injury, and Clint Dempsey, the clubs scoring leader for the past two seasons.

The club also announced that Diego Fagundez, the young dynamo, will be returning as the clubs choice for the retention player spot. Fagundez had a disappointing 2015, which led to his BSL release and subsequent signing by Spartans 1612, but, at age 21, its a fair bet that the players best years are ahead of him.

When asked why the Chairman forgot to announce lineups for so many games last year, he responded "Nothing went right last year," the Chairman said, "Look, I was drunk, most of the time. What do you want."

1 comment:

  1. You were drunk. Ha ha. lovely :)